My new mom life.

I just saw something on Yahoo that said, "Can a guy be too nice?" This reminded me of one guy in specific from my past, then got me thinking to another, then I got to thinking, "I never think about this stuff anymore!" That's good, according to my husband and Eckhart Tolle. The past is the past and should be left there. Okay, that's fine, not really the point of the post. The point would be, I have this new mom life where everything, everything, (EVERYTHING!?) has changed.

As stated on the episode of Oprah that featured moms being honest, "You have to redefine yourself once you become a mother. You can never go back to the woman you were before having kids."
I totally and whole-heartedly agree with this statement.

Kids aren't just brought into your life with graceful ease. They aren't dropped off on the doorstep by a stork and everything is the same, yet there is this lovely addition in your life. Baby comes. Life drastically altered.

I close my eyes and envision how I would like my home to look. Even with kids. I'm thinking Pottery Barn-esque but a little less expensive all the way around. And even a little less tidy. Then I open my eyes. Let me just close them again for a minute....okay, okay, then I open my eyes and see toys, tissues on the table (used!), shoes and dirty socks all over the floor, blocks and puzzle pieces (potential hazard to parents feet as we are walking through the room). I see sippys and books and dust and stains and lots and lots of things out of place.

Life is different with these little angels (monsters?). And again, I'm so very different. I'm a different woman than I thought I'd be, as a mom. And, as another common mom theme, there is a lot of guilt.

Today specifically, for an unknown reason, I thought a lot about my potential. Not my potential as a mom, really, but my potential as a person. I know in my heart that I am not giving enough, not doing enough, and not making enough of a difference. I can and should be doing more. But I'm thinking of myself pre-mom. Now, I have to redefine myself, and that, my friends, is certainly a work in progress.

Giving up.

What happened? I didn't give up blogging for Lent. I gave up facebook for Lent. I guess a lot of the Internet activity went with it. But here I am again. Back with a vengeance, right?

Wow, a lot has happened since I have last blogged. The Duggar's became grandparents. Lots of other things. Quite a few things in my world, too. Hopefully many of them will be shared here soon.

Most recently in my area of the news, there's this new thing going on about motherhood. It was on Oprah. There's a new show about it. In the Motherhood on ABC. And I just read a story about it today in the Wall Street Journal. It's this whole honesty thing that mothers have never done that is now becoming the new black. In my mind, I'm extremely comforted by the fact that all of this, Motherhood is hard, being a mom isn't as glamorous as I thought it would be kind of stuff. But I've been blogging about it for months. It's just good to know that other moms are out there, struggling, being real, having bad days, et cetera.

None of it is focus on the good stuff, though. That may be another post for me. I'm sure much more will be on here soon as I am being reintroduced to my wonderful release of blogging. (Thanks, Miranda!)

More soon from the mommahood...