I've always said I'm never going to be able to have a last child. Just when the baby starts doing something that outgrows baby-ness, I start yearning. My husband really hopes I will 'out grow' this yearning. But I haven't yet.
Last night, I laid in my bed with Adrienne. After a hellacious and exhausting day, she was just a little angel lying there. We spent about twenty quality minutes together. We prayed the Hail Mary and Our Father, we held hands, clapped our hands together, talked and laughed and made cute jokes. All the while, as she was completely unaware, I adored her, reveled in her innocent beauty, and allowed tears to silently travel from my eyes down to the pillow. That's a mom thing, I guess. Looking at a child with such overwhelming affection and abounding love that it makes you cry. I think I also was crying because she is growing up so fast.
I can see Julian growing. Moreso now that I am home. He wakes up in the morning, bigger, more like a little boy and less like a baby boy. This saddens me terribly as I love babies so much. Julian is such a little doll face. I woke up this morning and Julian said, "Mommy, Iwanshum oatmeal." You wanshum what?! You didn't say oatmeal. Yes, he said oatmeal. If you have read the eatmeal post, you understand how heartbreaking it was for me to hear him say oatmeal. Oh, you're growing up. I'm still clinging to him calling it his 'big girl bed.'
Isabelle fell asleep on my chest tonight. We were watching Dancing with the Stars. This doesn't happen - the falling asleep on my chest thing. Not at all at her age, 6 months. Izzy was in bed at about 8p and just screaming. Poor kid (oh no, there she goes again as I type this), she's teething. I could actually feel her first tooth coming through on the bottom tonight. So, we've had a few rough nights. She was just fussy and wanted to be held. I was holding her on my lap, she kinked her head up at me with drowsy eyes and a half smile. She said 'I love you' with that look. I stroked her hair and kissed her. She had fallen asleep. I held her with me for a little while and just loved the moment. Loved the fleeting moment. Tried to burn the moment into my memory to take out again when she's 12 and I want to kick her out of the house for being so sassy.
Growing up. When I see that Adrienne has changed in the smallest of ways on any given day, I'll tell her, "Stop growing up!" to which she always replies, "I'm trying to!" Keep trying, baby, I want to freeze time.
About Me
My loves
1 comment:
I hear you loud and clear when you speak of seeing your children grow up right before your eyes. It really does happen so fast. Though I'm currently on the path to the newest addition to our family, I think about that too. Will this next one be enough?!?! Brandon would like one more, and I use to say "we're going to have 4, 4 is a good number" *L* Who can afford 4 these days?? Plus, I crave order and control in my life. That just isn't possible, in the way I'd like, with 4 children. I'll just enjoy all of yours.... from afar :)
I want to make sure I make memories that I can remember when I'm at my wit's end, which Hunter can put me at in one afternoon. Thank you for posting about enjoying the simple things in life. I know you love your children more than anything, and it shows :) Sometime we forget to stop and enjoy the moment. I blame that on sleep deprivation and lack of personal space *L* Keep up the good work! We will really miss seeing BJ, you, and all your lil ones!!!
Post a Comment