My nap

I RARELY nap at home during the day. The kids are actually good sleepers. They don't all three sleep at the same time every day, but sometimes they do. During that time, I will generally clean a little bit, and take some time for myself. It usually consists of a load of laundry, tidying up the house, watching tevoed Oprah, and playing on facebook. Just about the time when I start to relax, someone's crying.
I RARELY nap. Okay, I think I said that already. It's not that I'm not tired enough to, it's just that if I nap, one of the kids will wake me up from that nap, and I will be groggy, and feel unrested and that time was wasted. So. There will be a day every now and then, whether it be because of a long week, a long night, a combination of things, that I just feel like I need a nap. Here's the kicker. If my mind ever, ever thinks, "I'm going to take a nap today," I'm doomed. It's like my kids read my mind and decide to be bad.
Here's how my nap went today. We get home from running errands, I make a phone call to the church to cancel BJ's lectoring, Adri and Jupa start the war while I'm on the phone. Get off the phone. Angrily tell the kids to get upstairs and go to bed. Adrienne obediently goes and lays in bed and is asleep within five minutes. Julian goes to his room and screams. It was wonderful when Julian was still in a crib and couldn't get out. You could let a kid cry, you know. Then he started climbing out of his crib and I endured fits of insanity because he just wouldn't nap and we'd both pay for it later. Enter: New house is an old house with old door handles. Julian is, for the time being, stuck in his room until I open the door. I know eventually he will get the door open, his confidence restored and he will go back to being 100% ornery boy that he is. Okay, I'm digressing. My nap...where was I, oh yeah...So I change Isabelle's poopy diaper, wipe her snot, drool and lay her in her crib. This is all at 2:00, by the way. She fusses a bit but seems to be calm. I make a cup of tea for my sore throat and grab the book that my dear friend gave me to read. I put on comfy pants, snuggle under the covers in my bed and start reading. I read four pages, set the book down, take off my glasses, fluff the pillow and close my eyes. Julian is still talking but the crying has calmed.
Now, in the back of my mind, I know this nap isn't going to pan out because I actually thought about it in advance. But I gave it my best shot. 2:12. Oh my gosh, I think I'm actually falling asleep. Dreams begin to formulate, I'm starting to relax, 2:24, Isabelle is crying. I get up, try to put the paci in her mouth and she's not having it. On my way to her room, old house comes through for me and floors creak loud enough to wake the neighbors, who probably have no problem napping except for my exceptionally creaky floors, and Julian starts up again.
Now Isa and Julian feed off of each other's crying, they always have, so they are both screaming. Not fussing, but 'get me the hell out of this bed now,' kind of crying. In my desperation, I set up the pack and play in my room, put Isa in there and shut the door. I leave Julian in his room, but I can tell that he has gotten into his closet because there are thumps and thuds and loud scary noises coming from his room.
I leave my two screaming kids and crawl in bed with the angelic sleeping Adri, who doesn't budge, even though the sun is blasting through the windows on her face and her mom is in bed with her. I lay down. 2:30. I laid there and listened to them both scream for 10 minutes. During that ten minutes I become overcome with guilt that I am not taking care of my children, I'm being selfish, and other self-loathing thoughts. I'm also so upset, uptight, angry, frustrated, tired, guilty, whatever, that it's over.
I get Isabelle, I get Julian. We go downstairs. They are sitting and playing on the ground and I'm here blogging about my wonderful 12 minute nap.
Every mom should be so lucky.