You know what? I'm here, today.

I used to be really bad about planning my future, meaning - I tried to do it. I wanted to map out the 'next five years' on a continual and ongoing basis so that I always knew what to expect. I think this is so true of many people in our lives as we finish college or find a significant other, or when both happen at the same time.
Once you become engaged, it's all about the wedding. So you plan that, for as long as that takes. In our case, we got engaged on January 17, 2002. We had dated just over a year. We had initially planned a May 17, 2003 wedding. I can barely remember that now. I initially didn't get placed for student teaching, so I graduated a semester later than I expected. We didn't want to be in college and married (I don't know why), so we pushed the wedding back to the following summer. July 2004. So planning began for that date. But after much frustration, more change of plans, and a sudden burst of a little thing called spontaneity, we decided to get married in December of 2003.
Once you're married, you have a little time to adjust to living together, for the eight of us in the world that didn't do that before we were married. Then everyone's asking you when you are starting your family. In our case, it didn't take too long. And it also didn't happen when I was planning for it to.
Then there is the house hunting. The ever exciting first home. I knew when I walked into our wonderful house that it was home. I knew when I walked in the door for the first time that this is a place where I could envision my children running around - which they certainly did for the next three years.
But back to the planning. I did it. Of course, God always laughed at me when I tried to plan out my life. That's why I've learned to stop doing it.
Five years ago, when I got married, I had it all planned out. I knew where I was going to work, how long. I knew when I was going to get pregnant. I knew where we would live and how things would go. And not only was I planning for these things, but I was also putting my happiness on hold until I had them.
The ever familiar, "Oh, when we get married, it will be so much better because..." or "I just can't wait to have a child, then we will really be a family." Or, "Once we get this house, then..." The list of "I'll be happy when"'s goes on. I was definitely living that life without knowing it.
It wasn't until a friend of mine, 10 years my senior, was telling me about the regrets in her young life. The precise thing I was doing, the planning my life, the I'll be happy when, is what she spoke of as her regret.
It was that moment for me, that talk with my friend, that allowed me to realize what I had been doing. Waiting for your life to start does not allow you to enjoy the day that you have. The only day that you know for certain.
So, present day, here I am in Indy. I'm living in a rental house until April, or a possibility to extend the lease. We have a home for sale/for rent in Muncie. I have had three children in three years. The most common questions I get about my life are, "Are you looking for a house?" and "Are you guys having any more kids?" As for the house, no. I'm not looking. It seems it would be exciting to house hunt, but right now, I have two houses. I don't want to look for another one. Not today. As for the children comment, I can honestly say, "I don't know." And the "If it's in God's plan," is a VERY nice comment because it takes all the pressure off of you! But seriously, I have always wanted at least four kids. Two boys and two girls. So people ask, "What if you have another girl?" So many questions that I am not prepared to answer. Two years ago, I would have told you the month that I was going to get pregnant with my fourth child. Today, I'm enjoying the day that I have, with the children that I have, and I'll worry about the rest of it when the day comes.